I'll admit it, I'm a crappy poker player. Far too aware of the risks of gambling, I play too tight. And I go "All In" at the wrong time. That being said, I love watching poker more than almost anything. Why? Mostly because I think poker players are sexy. Here are my top 10 reasons why.
1) Arrogance. I like my men cocky and full of their own thunder. Self thunder is hot.
2) Risk. A gambler is always on the edge and may fall off at any moment. And in this economic environment? That's hot.
3) Danger. The possibility of losing big money just floats my boat, kids. I should've worked on Wall Street. So hot.
4) Jet setting. I mean, just last week, they were in San Remo. Now, it's Monte Carlo. Next week? The moon. I wanna be all "yeah, my boyfriend is in Monte Carlo. He's a baller." Smoking hot.
5) Poker players have perfected the art of wearing indoor sunglasses. Not since Jack Nicholson front row at a Lakers game has anyone pulled off such a thing with grace. On fire hot.
6) Bluffing. A man who lies? Muy Caliente. Muy muy caliente.
7) Reading. The best poker placers are more like social anthropologists and excellent judges of character. It's like a hundred degrees in here, that's so hot.
8) Passion. Ever see a guy react after losing his seat at the main table? Gets me going just thinking about it.
9) That one Kenny Rogers song. Every time I meet a poker player and they walk towards me, it's all in slow motion and that song plays in my head. I love that song, y'all. I like it how Kenny Rogers drops it like it's hot. How he raises the roof. Keeps it real. Backs that ass up. I need a cold shower.
10) Poker face. Way better than butter face. Any day of the week.
So to all you players out there... keep on keepin' on. Oh. And call me.
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